A Pre-Birthday Dinner Amidst the Heavy Downpour Two Years Ago

It is true, that most love stories are expected to begin with how they met, and ends with and they live happily ever after (which are usually highlighted by a grand cheerful wedding (or melodramatic)). But I would not begin mine with that, no. What I want to highlight is our life together as a married couple and what I love and hate about it.

A Prenuptial Photoshoot at the UP Diliman Grounds

The first few months of being married to you, I felt like I was the most beautiful and amazing lady. You showered me with much attention as I want, with all the flirtations and adoration a young wife would love. Then I got pregnant almost immediately as you have playfully planned to. Though I plan to be a mother much later than what happened, the prospect of finally bearing your child inside me, and the twinkling emotion of motherhood brought a different kind of ecstasy as we shifted our attention from you and me, to just him, the baby.

Before the House is finished, With the four of us Just Before the Fourth Member of the Family was Born

I miss the nights we spend just watching endless TV series, one season after another. I miss our coffee out together, as we have brought dining out, inside our newly built home. You love to tease me that you will never take me out for dinner again, as you have always enjoyed each meal I prepare you, and that they are as much as crave-worthy as what other’s offer. Though I sometimes see that as a stingy excuse not to treat me out, it somehow touches my heart in a warm, subtle way, that makes me eager and want to try another dish you might want to have in your plate for the next night.  There are times that I want to mock you for working so late in the night or going home with such dreaded exhaustion that you barely notice that I am as tired as you are, and yes, I would mind giving you a massage because I need some too, as much as you need it, but no, I cannot just say no because whenever I look at you with such weariness, my heart goes all out that all I want to do is to offer you just a bit more comfort as I could give, even in exchange for numbing fingers and wrist. That in several times that I want to revel because I have been devoid of my own personal time, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude that you do not wish to have your own and rather want to spend every bit of your free time with us, with me, and with the kids. I sometimes push you to go out and see your friends, but I somehow feel happy that you insist on staying and play with us instead.

 

I have always felt these two opposing forces inside me battling between exhaustion and gratification but whenever you hold me, even if it’s just a mere second before you try and chase after our young boy, I feel immensely happy. I never thought I could love you this much and have the capacity to multiply this love to our children. I say this, even though I sometimes hate being neglected, still I feel so lucky that you are this amazing (though stingy) person.

First New Year with the Four of Us :)

Today, though I no longer feel that very beautiful newly wedded wife that I was during the first few months of our marriage, I feel like I am the most wonderful wife and mother, (which is a more fulfilling emotion). And I have to thank you for making me feel that way. 

 

February 4, 2014